A few weeks ago I made a big announcement that I was quitting my job to make space in my life for a new direction. I was overwhelmed by the reaction of the people in my world. There was tremendous support from unexpected sources and emotional uprising and warnings from some of the people who usually have my back no matter what. While it has been challenging at times to navigate it all and stay true to my decision, I am so grateful for the heartfelt conversations I have had with people on the topic of "Letting Go". In Yin Yoga and meditation, I use this instruction a lot. Letting go on the mat helps us prepare for the moments in life, big and small where we need to let go. Doing it in Yoga over and over again teaches you to trust that letting go may be an ending on some level, but it is also a way to make space for something new to enter. One of our awesome Project One participants had a reflection on letting go that I want to share with you today because it is raw and honest. It concerns letting go of a friendship or relationship that has run it's course. I hope you enjoy it!
Letting Go by Isabelle Galinski
Every friendship has it's boundaries. We have drinking buddies, workout buddies, etc. But what happens when a lifelong friendship suddenly turns sour? What can you intentionally do about this change? And how can you tell the difference between "giving up" on a friendship and knowing that you've had enough?
I've made a very conscious effort to eliminate negativity and drama in my friendships for the past two years, but there have been some people I just couldn't let go of. Everyone has an enormous capacity to grow into themselves...but it seems that some just won't. I can't figure it out.
Hamilton has an exceptionally supportive and nurturing Yoga and spiritual community. I've grown so much here and met some of my greatest friends and more importantly, my role-models. I have people in my life that I aspire to be like every day and it's so liberating! Every outlet to positive and holistic growth and empowerment is right here at our fingertips.
What frustrates me though is even with every resource accessible, people I love and surround myself with are content with their intention to flourish, but it seemingly just stops there. Why would someone set personal goals yet fail to make an action plan? This approach is so hard for me to process and understand. It also causes me to wonder why am I surrounding myself with this?
Despite feeling disappointment, I've decided instead not to immediately react to my initial thoughts and feelings. I sit on it, I wait a week and then check to see how a particular thought or feeling has been digested.
Here is my new perspective:
I've accepted the fact that people do not intend to let me down. Their best is just less than I expected. I need to let people be the way they are. Everybody eventually finds a way to prosper; some just are not ready right now. But unfortunately this lack of timing creates tension and affects friendships.
There's a difference between accepting people as they are and recognizing how your relationship with them affects you. Sometimes to relieve tension it ultimately means dissolving your friendship. Sometimes you know that you've had enough because you do not have anything else to give. You know this in your gut. This was how I let go.
(Photo by Me & Her Photography)