242: Making Friends With Money

14 Minutes Read

If you want more money in your life, you need to examine your relationship with it, since the world around us has some very unhelpful beliefs about money that we may have picked up without knowing it. 

The fact is, it feels amazing to be "in the money stream," and as a business owner you are in a position for that to be happening. And all you may need to increase the flow of money towards you and your business is a small shift in how you think about it.

This is a must-listen if you are a business owner or leader who may have some unhelpful money beliefs kicking around in your mind. 

In this episode, you will discover:

  • Why making friends with money will help you sell more and enjoy the abundance you create
  • How to be friends with money even when it doesn't feel like you're on good terms, i.e. there doesn't seem to be enough
  • Erin's breakthrough insight that helped her work less (gasp!), take better care of herself, and make more money
  • Money-friendly thoughts you can practice to bring more of it into your life

To learn more about the Grow Smooth course we discuss and the ways it can help you create more wealth in your business, click here.


Episode Transcript

Erin Aquin  0:02  
Welcome to the Superabound podcast with master coaches, Steve Haase and Erin Aquin where business owners like you learn tools that helps you clarify vision, clear up static and overcome challenges. You are listening to Episode 242: Making Friends With Money. Hello, there, you ready to make friends with money? I know that that way of talking about it may not seem very common to you maybe that's something this is like a new idea for you. But we wanted to do something a little bit different here on the show today, and really give you a new perspective, a new mindset, if you will, about money. Money is something I think all of us as business owners, as leaders we all think about we all talk about. And the world at large, usually has some generally unhelpful beliefs about money. So we're going to offer you today some of the things that we love to think about money, some of the things we have learned from the people around us about money and hopefully help you find an path forward. And your new friendship with making money. Hi, Steve.

Steve Haase  1:19  
Hello, Erin. Hi, everybody. This topic matters because especially among more spiritually minded, more awakened leaders, the idea that it's okay to make a lot of money tends to be not as well accepted. You know, in the regular business world, you're like, Well, those are just the people who are only after a buck. And it's easy to be disparaging, about people who hold money as the highest value. And rightfully so, right, there are human lives that matter much more there is well being that matters more than making a buck. But creating some kind of a hierarchy or comparison between the two can sometimes be detrimental, and actually hold business owners back from achieving the kind of abundance financially that they otherwise could, that you otherwise could. And another reason I'm so excited about this topic is because it feels amazing. When you are in the money stream, when you are actually just in a position where it sort of feels like money is just raining down on your head. And as a business owner, as a leader, you have already put yourself into that game, you are in a position where that could be happening, maybe it is happening to a certain degree. And so we want to help you embrace that position that you're in, and actually encourage more of that kind of flow through of financial abundance of money, in your business and in your life. And like Erin said, it begins with the mindset. Because if you really look at it, money is an idea, right? It's a story that we've all told each other as humans in our culture today, that this is what it's worth, this is what value is. So at its heart, money is an idea, which is why your beliefs about it makes such a big difference in how it will actually flow through your business and your life.

Erin Aquin  3:28  
It's interesting, because as you're talking, I remember when it first kind of felt like money was raining down on my head. And actually, from what I believed about money at the time, it was very uncomfortable. So I also want to acknowledge that if you came from a place where you learned that you have to work hard for money, or that maybe some maybe some really unhelpful things like people who have a lot of money must not be very good people. I've definitely picked up a lot of those beliefs along the spiritual journey. I had so many mentors, people who I respected in the yoga world in the spiritual world. Just say the worst things about rich people. That that like you could not be rich and be honest. So I definitely picked up a lot of that I remember one of my favorite yoga teachers, beautiful practice. Beautiful instructor very deeply spiritual on so many levels. once told me that if I wanted to actually become a full time yoga teacher, I was just needed to be prepared to be poor for the rest of my life, because that's just how it is. It's just no one's gonna ever pay you a lot of money. You should never ask for a lot of money. What you're doing is a service to humanity and therefore that should not be that will be compensated with karma and not money and I They've really believed that for many years, I know plenty of people who still believe that to be true. But I've done plenty of work on this with my own coaches. But the truth is, when you make friends with money when you're not, when you're when you're best friends with money, you're not like a friend of me, you're not talking shit about money behind this back, you're actually genuinely happy for money to be part of your life, for you to have it to be a good steward of it, something really beautiful happens, I think making money becomes a whole lot easier, because you're not. First of all, when you have money, you're not desperate. So I say this to a lot of my clients who are, I don't work with too many new business owners these days. But we definitely when I used to, the hardest position for a new business owner to be in was when they were not well resourced, when they did not have investors or some kind of a financial buffer, because that puts you in a really precarious place of needing your customers more than maybe they need you needing your customers before you've really figured out how to market well how to sell well. And people can really pick up when you're feeling desperate, especially if you do any kind of one to one sales. You know, when the salesperson is desperate for your business, when they are not like they're when they're seeing you. We've talked about this before, when they see you as just a giant cartoon dollar sign, you can feel bad, and so can your customers. So I think if nothing else, even if you don't you maybe you don't even know that you have some beliefs about money that are not helping you. It's hurting your business, if you aren't making friends with money. So that is the reason that another reason we are talking about this today, and we're going to offer you our best money, beliefs, and some ideas to think about. And of course, if this is this is not maybe something you can just clean up in one podcast episode. This has definitely been an ongoing process for me in my own coaching as a business owner, I remember hitting somewhere in the multiple six figure range. And just totally wondering, like, am I a bad person now that I'm making a lot of money, am I one of those people that all my teachers used to talk about. So it's not something we're cleaning up in one episode. But we hope that this really just opens up some things that you could play with some new thoughts to believe. And of course, if you want a deeper dive into this, you can come and join grow smooth, the doors are open to our program over at besuperabound.com/grow. Money is a big topic in there. And we're going to teach you how to achieve your goals and take better care of your growing finances.

Steve Haase  8:02  
One of the money beliefs that I have found most helpful is that I meant to be here. And this is especially true when you're a business owner. In my case, I had started up a company with some friends. And we had chosen to start our business in software, software as a service, particularly in 2008. Because we said, when you hit that, right, you make so much money. And the reason that was important to us was because we were actually part of a spiritual community, we wanted that flow of abundance to make our experience of that community, so much richer, make our ability to support something that we cared about deeply, that much stronger. So the purpose of getting into the software as a service game was to create the life that we were dreaming of. Now, the first four years that we spent on that business, did the opposite, they actually lost us quite a bit of money. We learned many lessons, I kind of think of it as paying for my MBA, while on the job. I learned so many things from those four years. And what that did was also put me in a position to join a company that was on a brighter trajectory. When that started to happen, that kind of growth curve that we were on it part of me said, Well, I got lucky, right? How many people join a tech company and it doesn't go anywhere. I'm one of the lucky ones. Yes, that's true. And I put myself there for a very specific reason back in 2008. When I left HubSpot in 2012, I joined Shopify and it did the same thing in terms of a growth trajectory and the and the wealth that was able to flow through my life through our lives. And still I thought to myself, I did it again. I got lucky, but that misses the agents See that I had in saying, this is where I want to be. And this is why I want that wealth to flow through my life, so that I can create more abundance for everyone that I am here to work with. I want this to empower the organizations that we love the life that we want to live, the impact that we want to have in the world. But by telling myself, I got lucky, you know, let's, let's enjoy this luck while we've got it. Because we didn't just make that up, right, that is also part of the narrative out there, businesses can fail, and companies can fail. And when you hit it, then you know, there's a certain amount of luck involved, that is detrimental to you, as the leader, as the business owner, as the person who is calling the shots, that when they turn out, right, you had a role to play in that and you did it on purpose in order to create the abundance to live the life that you want to live. So when you own that it brings it together in a very empowering way that we're sort of encouraged not to do, right, you kind of keep your money at arm's length, lest you, you know, get a big head about it or think you're better than someone else who may not have gotten lucky quote, unquote, it misses how much heart and soul, it misses the fact that I spent four years earning next to nothing as we started up our company. But I wanted to be in that game. So let yourself experience the fullness of those wins, for the reasons that you hold most dear. And so the money friendly thought that you can use rather than, Oh, I just got lucky, would be something like, I created this for a purpose. I can create wealth, I'm doing this in order to bring more abundance to my life, and to those that I care about.

Erin Aquin  11:54  
See, I love that because then when like whether or not you think of yourself as lucky or you like lucky or this was good, or this was bad. If you believe that you're consciously creating abundance, then it also puts into context that for years where nothing is happening, and it was all like kind of a disaster, you can see that in a whole different light. So I love that it's kind of connected to one that I now believe I shared that I used to really think that the way to make money was to work more, I did exist in a trading my time for dollars. I was a yoga teacher, I was an acupuncturist, I got paid per session. So when trading time for dollars, the only way to make more money and to become wealthy was to work more. And I know a lot of people out there share this belief, it seems very true. For me, this actually is connected to your story, Steve, when the stock prices were jumped a lot, I realized that I had not actually actively created a million dollars. And yet, we had a million dollars. Like that was it blew my mind. You know, I was aware of how how stocks could work. It totally felt like winning the lottery might feel. But it was one of those things where you know, to your point, you can't win a lottery, if you don't buy a ticket. You can't be part of an organization where the stock grows exponentially and wildly in a very short period of time. Unless you're there, and you're doing it. So I guess this maybe isn't a money friendly thought, per se, but it was dropping the idea that the only way to build wealth was through like my hard work, that there's other ways to create money. And in fact, like the wealthiest people on Earth, use their money to make money. You know, there's, it's it's not about how many more hours can I work? How much harder Can I work? How much more can I like, get out of the people who pay me to do things. It's not that at all. And in fact, in my own business, what that really helped me do is remember that my energy that I bring to the work that we do with our clients is the most important thing. And so not only is this understanding that working harder, doesn't equal more money, but actually working less working intelligently taking great care of myself is what's helped me actually create more money in the business. You know, nobody nobody wants a life coach who shows up to their call, exhausted talking about how busy they are, how many other clients they had that day there's you know, they're so burnt out nobody wants that. They want me to show up ready for them. And so that's what I do. I take impeccable care of myself now in a way I never did before, because I dropped this belief that working harder equals more money. So the the money friendly belief is that it's my energy, that helps me create money. You know, it's the the book that we're working on, I hope that's going to create a lot of money, because it's going to help a lot of people, I hope that a lot of people, hundreds of 1000s of people will buy our, you know, 20 $30 book, that will be my energy, creating wealth, and not just for me, but hopefully for a lot of other people as well.

Steve Haase  15:43  
My energy creates money. Love it, this is something that really hit me, a lot of my friends who are in the tech world, have recently lost their jobs, lots of cutbacks going on. And the crazy thing as I watch this happen, lots of people that I'm close with going through a lot of pain, trying to figure out what's next, trying to find their feet after being let go, I've been there, it hurts really bad. And while that's happening for them, the value of the companies that let them go is going up. And I look at that, and I just think, why are we also hungry for jobs. You know, it's like, you go for the safe, comfortable thing of the salary, right? As an entrepreneur, I'm sure you've had those moments where you're like, oh, gosh, those salary days, if you're ever on a salary, I was like, back when the money just comes twice a month, so nice. But that belief that that's where your money lies is in your hours is in the effort that you give, can block you from seeing some of these more fundamental market truths, which is that the value that you create for the marketplace, is what creates that wealth for you, which is why a company can get rid of your job and then make more money on the other side. And so while I'm not saying, quit your job, and you know, stop working, paying attention to the fact that working for dollars, is not the way to ensure that wealth is flowing through your life, but actually having some kind of ownership in value that's being created for the world. That's what that is. So that is part of working for a job you are, you know, part of an organization that's creating value in the world, that's how you're able to get paid. But if that's your main focus, and you're not paying attention to all the other ways that you can, or are creating value in the world, and that you're being compensated for that value, then you are missing out on one of the highest leverage points that you have for making friends with money for having more money in your life. The money friendly thought is that creating value is how you create more money in your life, we've actually woven that into our business, one of our values that we have for Superabound is that our revenue reflects our impact. And so the reason that we seek to grow our revenue is not just for all the reasons that we've mentioned, but to reflect the fact that we are impacting many people's lives, and that they have expressed the value of that impact with their dollars.

Erin Aquin  18:31  
And that kind of really speaks to one of my favorite beliefs. That money is sacred, that no dollar is better than another dollar. I think a lot of times business owners do this really weird thing where they like, count, like, oh, well though, that money doesn't count because it came from a client who I've already worked with. So you know, that's not as, it's not like, as good. That's not good money. It didn't count because it wasn't a brand new customer it was recurring, so you know, not as good. Or that money didn't count because it was a referral from someone. So that money doesn't count. Every dollar in your business counts. It's all very beautiful. And this is a thought I think, if not no other thought you take from this today if you consider yourself a spiritual person, if you enjoyed last week's episode on strategy and spirituality. This is one i i would highly recommend you at least just play with just like flirt with this one for a week. If you believed the money flowing into and out of your business and your life was sacred. How would that change your relationship to how you make it? How you spend it? How you save it? For me, this, you know, at first, I think when when we were making a lot of money, it was really fun to just spend it. But then, in a really short period of time, it became this like, very beautiful resource that could help us to create not only a different experience for ourselves, but a different experience for our clients, for our family, for the people in our world. And, you know, to the various organizations that we've donated to and, and things like that. So, the idea that money is not evil. It's not a burden. It's not a pain in the ass, or whoever people think about it or talk about money. But in fact, money is a sacred resource is one that has really helped me become more thoughtful about what I do with it and more reverent and respectful when someone pays me whether it's for $18 for a meditation class, or $15,000, for a one on one coaching package, that money is sacred. That is someone putting their trust in what we do, in what we've created, and what we can offer them. And, you know, I can't speak to every industry. But for me, as a life coach, knowing that people are really investing in themselves, it determines also how I show up, it determines how I invest in my own continuing education and understanding, because I really do want people to always feel like no matter what they they, no matter how much they spend, that what they get back is, is infinitely greater than the money that they used to pay for it.

Steve Haase  22:01  
And there's so much more that we could say about this topic. Like Erin mentioned, it's not the sort of thing that you can solve in a single podcast episode, given how many weird money beliefs out there are out there, especially for a spiritually minded business owner or leader, there's just a lot to unpack. So we do invite you to join us for growth smooth, we're gonna go much deeper in there, both in the existing modules, as well as the monthly workshops that we hold, head over to besuperabound.com/grow, to learn more and join us. But the last money belief that I want to share with you to make friends with it is that money is central to the impact that you want to have in the world. It's not a sidebar, it's not something to just glance at on your phone, once a month to make sure it's still there, but actually having it at the heart of what it is that you want to do. And how you want to have an impact will help you be more conscious and more deliberate with it, not only in how you make it, but also in how it flows through you. Something as simple as buying a pack of gum at the grocery store, right? Any kind of transaction, paying your taxes, paying your electricity bill, you are sending that energy out into the world in a way that is it's it's a fiber of the society that we operate within. You are participating in the experience of being alive right now in the world at this moment. And so far from being you know, the nuisance of bills or the errands of the day. It's actually it's like the synapses of life as we live it in this moment, so, let yourself celebrate when it comes in. Let yourself acknowledge the sacredness of when it flows out and see if that helps. Start to cultivate something new in your life and business around money. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai