Recently, I had the opportunity to spend a few hours with a group of newer teachers and teacher trainees in a workshop based on some of the key points of my book The A-Z of Being a Successful Yoga Teacher. These workshops are based around the "business" of becoming a teacher. But as any entrepreneur knows building a career from a passion will extend beyond the bounds of a normal 9-5 job.
Because this is true, I always encourage workshop participants to write down a few questions they have so that if I don't get to their topic of concern in this one short workshop, I can do my best to answer the question here on the blog or in our private Facebook group Being a Successful Yoga Teacher (if you haven't joined, you should here). Over the coming weeks I will be answering some of the questions I received.
Q: I would like to make teaching yoga my full time career, but I am worried about getting negative responses from my family. How can I deal with the lack of support?
A: First of all, this is tough. There are so many reasons someone might see your decision to teach yoga as a colossal mistake. When I decided to strike out on my own and shift into teaching, everyone from my boss to my main yoga teacher at the time (yep, my yoga teacher) warned me not to do it.
While I don't know your exact situation, I would guess that people have warned you that you can't make a sustainable living teaching yoga, or that you have to teach so many classes in order to do it, it will ruin your relationships and leave you burned out in the end.
The truth is, for many people this is exactly what happens.
Most new teachers especially leave their training with a lot of knowledge about yoga and no idea on the basics of business. Before you ditch your well paying job with hopes of a smooth financial and emotional transition into teaching you need to have a realistic budget, savings to help you start out, current stable classes, a marketing channel that gets your students in the door and probably some business minded people on your team like a bookkeeper or CA.
While a big part of my work is helping to educate teachers in the business department, when your big dream is met with negative feedback, even a person with all the right skills will take pause and feel doubt.
Here are a few strategies for how to deal if you are faced with less than supportive family or friends when it comes to your dream of teaching yoga.
1. Understand Where They Are Coming From
Your close friends and family are voicing their concern and it often comes from one of two places: love or envy.
Those who love you deeply want you to be safe, secure and happy. If you have a "good" job already they might not understand how you can give up that stability and throw yourself into an uncertain future. This becomes more difficult if you are a financial contributor in a family situation. If you have a spouse and children for example, your dream becomes their risk and so these concerns have to be raised and discussed openly.
Fear is powerful. Fear around money is linked to survival and I suggest having these conversations with a big open heart if the person in question will be directly impacted by your change in careers.
Trickier still, is the fear some loved ones have that they don't know the person you are becoming. I like to think of yoga as a way of discovering more about who you really are rather than a way to become someone new. However if your family has ever feared they are "losing" you to yoga then transitioning your career to focus on teaching may re-trigger those feelings. Again, a big, open heart is needed. Talk it through and listen to their concerns.
Unfortunately, sometimes even people who love you might throw negative words you way for a less savory reason. They see your happiness and the ways you have shaped your life but they are unhappy with something in their current state. Often this leads to resentment and jealousy.
Rather than congratulate you, they make a series of nasty comments to chops you down. If you feel like this is happening, you might be better off keeping your plans to yourself. In the midst of envy they may not be able to see what they are doing and rather than start a feud, seek out support from people in a more positive state.
2. Use The Doubt. Strengthen Your Case or Find the Holes.
I have changed careers a few times in my life and each time I had to have the "buzz kill" conversation with members of my family who grill me on the details and rationale of my plan. While it always annoyed me being hit with the various "what if's" my ability to answer those questions (or not) was a huge asset in hindsight.
"What if you can't find work for the next three months, how will you pay the rent?"
Rather than get emotional that your loved one isn't supporting you, answer the question.
"I have saved 8 months of living expenses. If I haven't reached my goal by the sixth month, I plan to find part time work."
or
"You know, that is a great question. I haven't figured that out yet. Do you have any ideas?"
Rather than letting the other person derail the whole thing you may be open to letting them in on the brainstorming process. Again, IF you are open to it, get ideas you didn't have before and turn the conversation from debate to constructive planning.
3. Be Clear in What you are Looking For When You Start the Conversation
One of the biggest mistakes I made in telling my family or friends about my decision to become a yoga professional was that I wasn't clear about my hopes for the conversation. I never sat down and said "I am looking for your support, not your advice."
While the other party has the option to say whatever they want in any discussion, by not being explicit about my ideal outcome, I gave the impression that the point of the conversation was to hear advice and opinions.
The great and sometimes difficult thing about friends and family is they will give you their unfiltered advice and opinions probably no matter what, but if you start a conversation by stating that you have made up your mind and are asking for support then they have the option to listen to you fully and either give their support or not.
And you might not get the support you want.
No matter how well prepared you are to become a successful teacher, there may be members of your circle that don't like it or don't get it. In those instances, remember that it isn't up to you. You can't force someone to support your choices, but you can choose who you share your aspirations with and who you seek advice from as you take this big step.
Share your insights and experiences in the comments below.
Photo Credit: Better Than Bacon - Cliff Jumping/Diving Prohibited