I came across this article last night and I will admit, it hit me like a ton of bricks. You see, even though I wrote this two years ago (Nov 5, 2014) when my life was completely different, this article was exactly and eerily what I needed to hear at this moment in time.
With my second book Elemental Yin Yang Yoga less than a month from its release and so many big shifts on the verge of taking place, reading this article soothed my inner tension immediately. I hope that sharing it with you makes an impact in your day the same way.
Last night I had a dream.
I was preparing to go on a solo trip to Hawaii, where a powerful spiritual transformation was waiting for me. In the dream, I was trying to pack a small suitcase with only an hour to get to the airport and check in. I began running around my house trying to find the right clothes. As I chose each item, something else would come to mind and off I went in search of it.
Although I was aware that the window of time until my flight departed was getting smaller, I continued to hunt down very specific items so that my trip could be that much more perfect. Time ticked on and yet I was only concerned with silly little details like whether I would be content with one book for the flight or two. Being lost in having all the "right" things in my suitcase, at one point, I realized I had missed my flight and my beautiful adventure was not going to happen after all.
The way I interpret this dream is as follows; while I was trying to wrangle all the specific pieces I thought I needed to make my journey better, I missed out on the journey altogether.
Maybe you can relate to this.
How many times have you kept yourself from experiencing a special moment because you felt like you were missing something elsewhere?
How often do you think you need more than what you have in order to be happy?
How often do you think you need to do more to be worthy of success or love?
How much time have you wasted pretending you aren't ready for transformation?
In times of transformation, you may feel (as I do) a restless anxiety that threatens to derail your progress forever. There is a looming sense that you aren’t smart enough or strong enough to handle the world you are walking into.
In my dream, I was fully aware that I was about to miss something meaningful that I craved with all my heart. And yet I allowed my mundane need to bring the perfect combo of junk along for the ride to hold me back.
Preparation Stage Fright
One of the things I notice when I work with others in the midst of a big transformation is the mixture of inspiration and white knuckle fear. No matter how many great things one has accomplished previously, there is an underlying doubt that all of a sudden they won't be up for the next task.
I have watched my clients and students try to wriggle out of their own bold aspirations. I've witnessed friends self-sabotage relationships and jobs while being fully aware they are doing it. You have probably done these things too, afraid of your own potential, afraid to change and afraid to declare that your transformation will impact the world around you as well as the world within you.
Outsmart Anxiety
Although I haven't figured out how to cure this anxiety for you forever, I can tell you how to outsmart it in an empowering way. Simply acknowledge it and remember that the anxiety and overwhelm you feel in the face of major transformation is not bad- it is in fact proof that you actually care about what happens next. In a world where many people are apathetic, you choose to care about what you are contributing and the way in which you do it. No need to make these feelings your enemy once you re-frame them. As long as the anxiety doesn’t succeed in holding you back, think of it as a rite of passage, steeling you for the next inevitable, transformative step.
Transform Now
Don’t wait too long to prepare and pack your bags. Don’t wait for the perfect set of circumstances and combo of stuff to lug along with you on your next adventure. As far as I can tell, when you decide to transform, there will always be moments you couldn’t possibly have planned for anyway, so just get on the plane and enjoy the journey.
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Photo Credit: Kate Ter Haar
