256: How To Coach Your Team

Episode Transcript

Steve Haase  0:03  
Welcome to the Superabound podcast with master coaches Erin Aquin and Steve Haase, where business owners like you learn tools that help you clarify vision, clear up static and overcome challenges, you are listening to episode number 256: How To Coach Your Team. Hello, everybody, you will notice that this week is just me. And that's okay, we're gonna have a great time. Even without Erin, even though she's usually the one that brings the humor, I will do my best to channel my inner Erin, even as I am also my usually stoic self. The reason for that is we have kind of a chill week, this week. And so we're taking turns, who is doing which work who's watching the kids, we're not going to be pushing ourselves in this final week before school begins. And so it's just me, I'm looking forward to the chat, we are going to be talking about how to coach your team. And this is specifically for a business owner or a leader, if you have people that report to you. And you want to do more than just tell them what to do. This is so important because when you just tell people, you only can get so much engagement, you're limited to how much ownership, people will have how much creativity and passion they bring to their work that you are paying them for. As opposed to when you coach them. When you open up the space for them to be at their greatest, then the creativity, the passion, the engagement is unlimited. And most people don't know how to actually coach their team. Because even if you know how to coach, you're usually coaching people that you don't have a vested interest in their outcomes, right, you don't have skin in the game when you're coaching someone other than you know, wanting to be at your best for them, whether they achieve their next thing or they don't, that is out of your hands. But when they're on your team, it is very much of material importance to you that they achieve what it is that they set out to do. And so that's a big difference, it can make things a little stickier because you have an agenda for somebody. It can kind of cloud the waters with coaching. And so we're going to talk a little bit about what makes for a good coach, when that person is someone who reports to you how to coach, a team member, this is all part of the lead up to our coach certification. And we are really excited, we're getting close to being full for the certification. So if you are interested in becoming a Superabound coach and being able to actually apply these tools in your own life, and with your team, and with any clients that you work with, now's the time to join, visit the page at be superabound.com/certification for all the details and to claim your spot before they fill up. Okay. So how do you coach your team, the most important aspect of coaching your team is that you want them to be successful. When you're a coach, your job is to believe in your client sometimes and maybe even most of the time, even more than they believe in themselves. So you are there to help them see the highest possibility for themselves. And when you're doing that for someone on your team, that means see the highest possibility for themselves within the context of their role within the context of what your company is here to do. So rather than trying to get them to do something, right, do your job. Here's what I expect of you, you actually are trying to help them become successful rise to their own highest level. And it might sound like semantics. But it's a huge shift. Because a big part of coaching is helping people vibrate with a different kind of energy. When you're coaching someone, the most effective coaching is going to happen at the level of feeling, which is emotion, which if you split it up, you can say is energy in motion. You might have heard that before but I love it. It's how the energy is moving through your body. That is your emotion. And so when the emotion that you're trying to create in them is one of obedience and sticking to the task. It's going to have a certain kind of effect, but when the emotion that you're generating within them is inspiration is as motivation is ownership, it's just going to feel different. And then they will act differently as a result, the end result might be exactly the same, but the way they approach it, the speed with which they do it, the enthusiasm with which they do it, and how engaged they are, will be completely different. So your motivation needs to be helping them be successful within the context of your next lantern. Right. So in, in our world, we use the word lantern to describe the purpose driven objective that somebody is aiming for. You can use the word goal, but goal has lots of baggage. So a lantern is kind of the goal with soul, it's a goal that matters in the context of your business. The lantern, is the next thing you're aiming for, to help your business achieve its vision in the world. So you want to help your team member, the person that you're coaching, to be successful within the context of your next business lantern. That means it's up to you to be clear about what that next lantern is, you have to let them know, here's where we're headed. And here's why it matters to the business. This is one of the parts that's different between just coaching a client who's doing you know, setting their own lanterns based on what's important in their life, and coaching someone on your team who's there to help you help your business achieve a specific outcome, it's on you to be clear about what that outcome is. Now, that doesn't mean that they can't be creative within that, in fact, you will want that for them. Because when there's agency, there's more buy in. So they will be committed to where they're going, they will be committed to owning the scope of that project. Provided that it's, you know, something that they can handle. Again, that's up to you to decide if the scope is too much of a stretch, or if, you know, owning the entire marketing program, for instance, would be within something that that the person you're coaching can do. So when you're clear about the next lantern, and you give the person your coaching space to state their own objective within that, let's say the lantern is we're going to reach a certain revenue milestone this quarter. And the room for the person to decide their own lantern within that is setting up the marketing campaigns to contribute to that revenue. When you have clarity, then the person you're coaching can have clarity. And then you can both be on the same page about how they're doing. Coaching is not just about making them feel good. And it's not just about making them be clear on what they're doing next. It's the combination of the energy that they bring to the task, and the clarity they have about what they need to do next. So as you're coaching somebody pay attention to is the energy at a place where they can really own this, and it's theirs, and they're engaged with it for themselves. And are they clear about what they're going to do next, and how that's going to impact the difference that needs to be made in the world. Right? It needs to be tangible, but it also needs to be emotional. Those two together are when you've got really strong coaching. Which brings us to the next point, which is when you're coaching somebody, the most important layer at which things are happening is as I mentioned earlier, the emotional layer. Notice where somebody is coming from, if they are filled with self doubt, Dread procrastination. They may not say those things. In fact, they usually won't, it kind of takes a remarkable, a remarkably self aware person to say I am just full of dread right now. Most people will put on a brave face and cover that up, especially when talking to their boss. So as you're tuning into somebody's emotional state, be aware of the inherent power dynamic that's going to be there when you are their lead when you are their boss. Because they're going to want to be great for you. They're going to want to impress you or at least just keep their job. So there will be some layer of distance inherent just because of the power differential in that relationship.

This is one thing that makes coaching a client a bit easier. Because the coach is neutral territory. There's no investment in what you as the client are up to right the coaches just there to help as the boss, there is an investment. And so there's going to be a layer of trying, or there might be some kind of a mask there. So pay attention to what might be under that. And tune into any static, you might get a whiff of write static is that inner dialogue, that inner state of mind, that kind of blocks the clear view of the vision from somebody. So if you get a sense that they might be in some kind of state of self doubt, or they might be afraid of what's going on, and in a way that really blocks their progress, you can ask about it. The questions such as, how are you feeling right now? Can open things up? And if they say fine, which is what many people say to that question. You can just make some space, you know, maybe take a couple of breaths, pause, maybe ask a different question, how are things in your life, what's on your mind, not to put people into a corner or kind of probe too deep, but to give them space to open up. Because when they do, then you can actually be on the same page about what's going on and be supportive to them. The way to make that a safe interaction for your team member, because again, you're not just the coach, you're also the boss, you need to be able to make that safe. The way you do that is by allowing that vulnerability from yourself first. Maybe not necessarily in the coaching session. But over the course of your relationship with the person on your team, making it clear that emotions are welcome at work. We've done entire episodes on this. Because when people are allowed to actually own their experience, state, their experience, gain the wisdom from their experience, then they don't have to push it away. They don't have to be somebody else at work. And they can actually bring the wisdom from that experience into their work life. So when you start, and if you're in a situation where you're feeling, the pressure, or if you're feeling intimidated by something, sharing that story, as the boss, it's best not to share it in real time as you're going through it. But sharing your learnings on the other side, letting people know that you've been right where they are, and that you can help them get through it. Because hopefully, you also have your own coach, either your own lead, and if you're a business owner, coach that you have outside of the business, so that you can bring your whole self and let yourself gain the wisdom from those emotions. Right, if you're feeling intimidated by an upcoming negotiation, sitting down with your coach and acknowledging that can sometimes shift the energy just by speaking it. And you can gain wisdom, let's say it's that intimidation from the negotiation, the wisdom within there, who knows that it will be but sometimes in talking with people, I've heard things like I just want to be accepted. Or I just want to succeed, or this matters so much to me. And getting to that layer beneath the static is where the gold is. So you as the leader, it's important to have that experience of finding the gold beneath those troublesome emotions right in quotes. Healing the static and finding what is the path forward from this rather difficult place so that you can do the same for the people on your team. So you show them what it looks like you show them that we're not afraid of our feelings here. That everything is welcome. Again, as the leader, it's best for you to have done some work with it and have some self knowledge to have that kind of emotional skill, so that you can be vulnerable sometimes even in the moment, but in a way that never abdicates your responsibility. Right? Some leaders will say, I'm totally freaked out right now. So everybody come up with an idea. That's not what I mean by vulnerability. Being freaked out and then abdicating responsibility is not how to be a great leader, being freaked out, acknowledging it, and then speaking to the confidence that you do have in your path forward. Knowing that together we can find a way that works is how you model vulnerability. Whilst while maintaining your responsibility for the end outcome as a leader, when people see you doing that, they will be more willing to open up to you in a coaching session, like we're talking about today. So, if we were to boil down, everything I was just throwing at you so far, it would be with two words. And that's vulnerability, and purpose. A great coaching relationship includes both of those. And they're woven throughout every interaction. And if I were to add another one, it would be respect, right? That's kind of where we started with where you as the coach are actually seeing such greatness in your client and the person you're working with, that they might not even see it themselves. And you can help them tune into that and really resonate with that potential that they have. Okay, so I'm changing it to three words, vulnerability, purpose, and respect. What we were just talking about was vulnerability. And so that means they're willing to open up to you about what's in the way, how they're feeling, what's on their mind, if you'd let a team, you will know, this is what can absolutely tank a team. If they say one thing, and behind closed doors, they're thinking and doing another. So vulnerability is where everything lines up, there's no more what I say and what I'm actually thinking. The way you gain that vulnerability and create that space, is where you're willing to do it as well. And they see that you're willing to do it. If you need a coach to be able to to step into that space, get coached, make sure that that is part of your world, you cannot be coaching people, if you're not willing to do the same thing yourself, they will feel the incongruence between what you say and what you're actually doing. So model vulnerability in order to receive that vulnerability and create that space together. Purpose is where you know where the business is going and why it matters. And you invite somebody into that ownership of purpose for themselves, both with the business as a whole, as well as their role within it. And you help them achieve that purpose and work towards it and basically flourish as a human being, because they're in your organization. The best leaders I've ever worked with, have helped me become more skilled, more accomplished, more experienced, because I was on their team. And I loved them for that literally the feeling of love and connection, all those wonderful things about human relationship I felt for my colleagues at work, it is possible. And I want that for you. That's what being a great coach for your team will bring out. And that's from purpose. And finally, like I mentioned, just now, respect when you're seeing the incredible potential from your team, and you're inviting them to believe in how you see them, that will help them rise as well. And if you don't see that incredible potential for your team, two things are going on. Either you're not hiring well enough, and you don't think your team is actually capable of greatness, or you haven't had that experience yourself of somebody seeing that greatness within you. And then you rising to that next level, because you had a great coach who was able to do that. So I know I sound like a broken record here. But being coached yourself is one of the most powerful ways to for you to effectively coach your team. So I hope you found this helpful. And if you want to work with us to become certified as a coach so you can be even more effective with your team. We would love to have you in the upcoming coach certification. You can learn more and claim your spot at be superabound.com/certification Thanks again for listening

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