Ep 250: How Static Slows You Down

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Episode Transcript

Steve Haase  0:01  
Welcome to the Superabound podcast with master coaches, Erin Aquin and Steve Haase. Where business owners like you learn tools that help you clarify vision, clear up static and overcome challenges. You are listening to episode number 250: How Static Slows You Down. This is a live segment that we recorded for some of our clients. And we wanted to share this on the podcast, because it's relevant for anyone who owns a business and has a human brain. So we hope you enjoy this segment on how static slows you down. And if you like what you're hearing, and you want more of it, join us in the Superabound collective, you can find out more and be part of this community of inspired soulful business owners at besuperabound.com/collective.

Erin Aquin  0:57  
Okay, so let's talk about static. Hopefully, by now, you are starting to see that one of the biggest things that slows you down is not the world outside of you. It's not the lack of support. Hence not all of the tasks between you and your lantern. But it's actually a lot of crap in your head, to put it delicately. And we're really going to talk about today how static slows you down. This is such a tricky thing, because one of the reasons our business exists is because so many of us have static, and it's one of the hardest things to see, it's one of the hardest things to know when you're in it and distinguish it from what is real. So we're going to help to gonna give you some clues and signs that you may be experiencing static. And the reasons that it's important to start to work with that static,

Steve Haase  2:03  
it's huge. The first sign, I would say that you're in a static state, and that is slowing you down, is that you're believing that you don't have time. This is a huge flag that says, I think my biggest problem might be static rather than the actual world. Because here's the thing, we all have more to do than we have hours in the day, like you can just stack the list of everything that everybody has to do. And there's more on that list than anyone has time for. But the people who feel that they have enough time are the ones who are focusing on the most important things. So if you don't count yourself among those lucky folks who say yes, I have enough time, that means you're probably believing that you have to do everything or that everything is equally as important. That is static. Because what that means is you're saying, these are all lanterns, these are all important, everything has to be done. But that's not true. The thing that's going to move you forward the most powerfully is your next lantern, you have to take care of other things in life. But that lantern is going to make the biggest difference. And so when you believe that you have time for your lantern, because you've created time to do what's most important to you, then everything else will fall in place. And you'll see it in perspective. And you'll stop believing the lie that you don't have time.

Erin Aquin  3:27  
That is such a good one, because it kind of goes to what we talked about last week on the podcast. That means implementing something like a visionary practice something where you're not only spending time thinking and dreaming about the future, but you're actually putting real hours of the day towards the thing that's the most important to you on the path to your vision. And yes, there's gonna be other things we have to do that may not line up with that, like not every single second of the day can be visionary. But when you are in a static state, it's really easy to think that other priorities are more important than your big vision or the big things that are the things that are actually priorities. It's easy to make something that does not matter at all into a priority.

Steve Haase  4:29  
So one way that you'll know that you're doing this is if you just have to clean the house, or if thinking you have to go on a really long walk or you just haven't gotten out for that treat that you need. So you have to make time for that treat. And you'll find all the reasons why you can't devote the time you need to your visionary practice.

Erin Aquin  4:55  
It's a good one. I think you know, the cleaning one is really injured. saying, you know, if you've, if the pile of mess or clutter hasn't bothered you, but suddenly, when you're about to do something really important, you're like, oh, no, I have to clean it first. It is static. And it still means you might tidy up first, because maybe that helps your mental, emotional, spiritual energy. But just noticing that, when other things start to shift into pole position, in your, in your mind, when there's actually something that's very important, very clear that you could be doing, it is a big sign that you're in a static state.

Steve Haase  5:39  
So another way that static slows you down is that you need emotional fuel, to do great work. When you are speaking with a client, when you are on the phone with a prospective customer, you want to be in a certain state, when you're doing work on your book, or on a web page, your business needs you to tap into something real, something authentic, something purposeful. And when a big part of you is not there, but is actually chewing on some kind of frustration or resentment, anxiety, self doubt, that's going to slow you down because your first reps at that page or at the content that you're working on, or the conversation that you're in, are going to be even if just a little bit split between the energy that you want to bring. And kind of the part of you that's still hanging out in the past, obsessed with something that's not present right before you. So not addressing that static, not making room for it to be okay and kind of move through you is going to make you less present less powerful with the tasks that your business needs from you right now.

Erin Aquin  7:02  
Yeah, static is usually a very self centered state, don't think it's necessarily bad to be self centered. But it's self centered in a way that's usually not helpful to the present situation. So if you're a service provider, as you said, Steve, and you're not present with the person in front of you, as you're providing the service, that's it's 100% going to be static. That is in the way, anytime you're lost in the past, or obsessing about the future, you are not present and therefore static is happening, you're not in a clear frequency, with most of your focus and attention on the thing that's most important to you. And when that happens, I think this is what's tricky. And maybe we can talk a little bit about this is those of us who are aware enough to know when that's happening, immediately make the static worse by applying a whole bunch of self judgment to it saying, Oh, I wasn't really with that person, I didn't really hear what they said, Oh, I'm a terrible mother, father, person, service provider, whatever, whatever you're supposed to be doing that you're not, it's easy to, you know, jump deeper into the static by applying a self judgment. So we want to talk about how you can actually heal that static or move to a clear frequency, the very first way that we teach our clients to do this is to actually say it out loud to themselves, in their head, or out loud if you're alone. Like I think I'm feeling some static here. Like I'm in stack,

Steve Haase  8:52  
because that what that will do is it will help you distinguish between the challenges, which are the tasks, the activities, the decisions before you. Anything, you could write down and put on the calendar, from the way that you're feeling the way that you're thinking about those things, or maybe even about other things. Because once you state, I'm in some kind of static, you're able to clearly distinguish, this is not related to the task at hand. But it is still important because I'm the one who does the task at hand. So you're reflecting on your emotional state, you're reflecting on your current state of being, which matters because we're not just doing machines. We're also human beings. And so by reflecting on it, you're able to create some distance, and you're then able to start working with it.

Erin Aquin  9:47  
And we were teaching this to a group of folks in one of our programs this week. But sometimes the easiest way to spot so that I can start to become aware of it is to observe it in other people So, your your little homework, if you want it for this particular class, is to notice the people around you this week, I mean, you can definitely do this for yourself as well. But notice the people around you, when they're complaining, when they're clearly having an unhelpful emotional reaction. And look at how those people around you are confusing. The things they may need to do with an unhelpful state.

Steve Haase  10:38  
And I think a good example of this could be if you're offering somebody feedback, and they have walls go up, they don't really take the feedback on, you can tell, it's not reaching where you want it to reach. The task before them is listen, incorporate, respond. But the static is making it so that they're kind of hearing that really listening, they're certainly not going to incorporate, and they're going to do their best to just sort of shove it off to the side. So what you'll be able to notice from that is that they're in a static state about thinking that they're not good enough or thinking that you're, me, or she or not. And so the big challenge before you is not actually the challenge of communicate the learning, help them incorporate, create a plan for how to make it better, the big thing in front of you is actually the static that they're in. And so that could be an opportunity to depending on your relationship with them and the ground rules that you have for speaking about static in this case, for saying, it looks like you're having a hard time hearing this? Or is there something else going on? You might be experiencing some static, what, what might that be? That's gonna help you actually speed it up. Because, again, the challenge is just listen to incorporate, create a plan, or do the feedback that you that you suggested, until the blockage is managed, you're never actually going to get there.

Erin Aquin  12:22  
And what this looks like for you, you know, if you don't have a big team, and you don't give feedback, and you have no one on ones this week, or what have you, for you personally, it means sometimes it's just as simple as noticing that you're in the static state. And giving yourself the grace and the time, to not respond from it. To say, I'm clearly in a place where I'm not going to be able to offer my best, I'm not feeling my best, I don't necessarily want to contribute from this place within me. And I'm going to give myself some time. You can let other if there's other people in the room, you can say I need some time so that I'm not responding from a place that isn't clear. So we hope that this helps you become a little bit more aware and understand the difference between things that are happening in the world challenges, you have to face tasks, on your calendar decisions that need to be made to help you move towards that next lantern. And the sun, mostly unhelpful mental state that most of us will find ourselves in many times a day called static. Instead of making that static, a problem the enemy or a place you respond from and later regret, start by simply acknowledging it to yourself. This is something that needs to be looked at. And, you know, if you're in some of our programs, if you're going to be part of our upcoming certification, you're going to learn how to deal with this at a very deep and sophisticated level. But we can't do any of that until you notice it. So get out there and notice all the static within you and around you this week.

Steve Haase  14:16  
And give yourself like Erin said, give yourself the space to say to yourself as well as to others. I need a moment so that I'm responding from a clearer place. Because if you think about the ways that static slows you down, it doesn't just slow you down through inaction. It can slow you down through incorrect action, right? Where you're actually just responding from anger, frustration, whatever kind of inappropriate response it might be. That's gonna make a mess that you then have to clean up and then there's the whole damage control on the other side of that. So this is really a gift that you give yourself that you give your business and we can't wait to see how it goes for you and your life.

Erin Aquin  14:55  
Thanks, everybody.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai