Are they perfect for you or do you wish they would change?
Most people don't think they have a "perfect" partner because of all the ways that other person fails at meeting their list of expectations.
Maybe you imagine you would love your partner more if only they would behave the way they "should".
If only they would say "I love you" more often, or show up with flowers or show more interest in the same hobbies.
But do you know what makes my husband perfect for me?
I think he is perfect for me.
That is literally it.
I think thoughts about him that sounds like this:
I think those thoughts and then my brain goes to work looking for all the things he does that confirm that he is the perfect partner for me.
But if I started to think thoughts that he wasn't a great husband my brain would immediately get to work finding evidence to support those thought as well.
I am asking. Are you?
Whatever your answer, you are exactly right because your thoughts in either direction will put your brain to work looking for the proof.
The amazing thing is that you can decide consciously what you want the answer to be. If more people decided consciously we wouldn't need relationship coaching. The divorce rate would drop and people wouldn't spend time with their friends bemoaning all the things their spouse is doing wrong.
If you want to figure out how to stop fighting so you can have a stronger more beautiful relationship then start by downloading my free (and recently updated) mini-course here