Earlier this week we launched our final tweak in our series 6 weeks of small tweaks. Steve offered 6 ways to connect on Monday and it has led me to make me think more deeply about what connection is. Is connection something we need to practice to get good at, or is it actually our natural state?
If we think about connection as a practice, it can be distilled down to presence of Being. You can connect alone (we will talk more about this in future posts), but plugging into something with another human being is what comes to mind most often. A simple way to practice is by paying attention to the conversation you are engaged in. Not only to the words and body language of the other person, but the felt quality of the interaction. Are you busy trying to look thoughtful until the other person is finished so that you can get the started on the point you are thinking about instead? Or are you listening attentively without having already planned your next “move” and the course for the conversation? Being connected to someone else in conversation feels more like being on the same page than adversarial. Even when opinions are polarized, people who make the effort to be connected ultimately win because more perspective is being taken into account. A bigger picture is possible to be seen and created. So, as a practice it is important to do stay connected. Another reason that connection is such a big topic is beautifully displayed in this video.
Most people I know (myself included) are guilty of some of these things and while the video doesn’t expressly push a conclusion upon us, it clearly shows that most of the people are not paying attention to the world outside of the screen of their smart phone. Watching carefully, it is plain to see how lonely and out of touch the main woman is. I think maybe she lost her phone. She sure looks sad watching how much everyone else is enjoying theirs. :p
All kidding aside, I like the video because it opens up the conversation of how we connect to those around us. Putting your phone down is a good practice (especially in bed- that is just basic respect, people).
But here is the thing. For better or for worse, all of the technology we have allows for hyper-connection. These tools/ toys allow us to satiate our need for connection (again, for better or for worse) at any given moment. The tool isn’t inherently a problem. In fact the sheer popularity of such things as smart phones makes me firmly believe that being connected is what we are naturally drawn to.
Personally, I am so grateful to live in an era where I can reach out to people all over the world through a website, video chat with my partner in another country and share a laugh with people I only get to visit with a few times a year. The part of me that wants to be deeply connected to people and the world around me loves to know that I can watch events unfold that affect our planet from my own living room. I also know those same tools and toys can be a huge waste time when used inefficiently.
So is connection our natural state or is it something we need to practice? I think it is both. What do you think?